WHAT'S in a name? A whole lot of pillow case sales when it's Presley; a bunch of books if it's Fonda.
Two of the world's most recognisable pension-aged women drew 1000 fans each in Melbourne yesterday.
And they couldn't have done it more differently.
Jane Fonda, 68, one-time khaki-wearing Leftie, packed Crown's Palladium at a $59-a-plate lunch.
And more than 28 years after Elvis left the building feet-first and 32 years after she'd divorced him, Priscilla proved the Presley surname was still king.
In town to spruik linen, the name drew Elvis fans to Myer, fans who didn't particularly need bamboo-fibre bedding or $320 Priscilla Presley quilt covers.
They bought $60 pillow cases they didn't need either, to get near the nearest thing to the King.
And old rockers with Elvis on their cars and Presleyesque names on kids' birth certificates.
Presley, 60, said that a passion for luxurious-but-affordable linen brought her half way across the world, adding "dust mites cannot survive bamboo".
Looking at her heavily made-up, super-smooth skin and oddly shaped lips, anything was possible.
"Is she gonna have some more kids?" a man yelled out.
"I can hardly take care of the two that I have," Presley answered, and it was hard to argue.
Her first, Lisa Marie, went and married Michael Jackson on her way to a quartet of husbands.
The next, Navarone, was booked for possession of magic mushrooms and dope smoking.
It would have dismayed Elvis, who hated druggies almost as much as he hated Lefties, and wanted to be a narcotics agent for Richard Nixon.
On a tour of FBI headquarters, Elvis even bagged Fonda for unspecified "unsavoury activities".
"Their ilk have a lot to answer for in the hereafter for the way they have poisoned young minds."
Times change things, though, despite Priscilla's appearance and the spooky way fans talked about Elvis in the present tense.
Asked if she would catch up with Fonda here, Presley said: "I've caught up with her already."
Caught up, it emerged, was a passing hello, celeb to celeb, in the airport's Chairman's Lounge.
Katherine Quinney got to the front of the Presley queue by virtue of a broken leg and a wheelchair.
Daughter Gracelyn, 4, was named to sound like Graceland; Elysha-Marie, almost 2, to reflect Lisa-Marie. Her first daughter, Presley, passed away.
"Because of the wheelchair, they put me at the front," she said.
"It's good that I fell down the stairs."
Maryanne Britt, who drives a Mercedes with the licence plate ELVIS1, came at 10.30am.
She showed off an Advice of Delivery form, confirming Elvis received a koala and letter she sent.
It was signed and dated "8-15-77", the day before the King died.
Maryanne wouldn't say what was in the letter, but it sounded hot.
"I thought I'd killed him, the poor bugger, I'd given him a heart attack," she said.
And a guy with slick hair and mutton chops showed off an Elvis wallet he'd just got signed.
"It's the closest you can get to Elvis," he said.
( Priscilla Presley's range fit for a kingCollapse )